What have we hatched now?

Will it become a national crisis?

Yes, we’re talking about THE COMB.

It seems according to reports that a Minnesota political figure has extended the purpose of the comb to an eating utensil.  This needs to be examined thoroughly from all angles.

Immediately the PC factor comes into play.  Since it was a female liberal politician prompting this action it has to be politically correct on its face. Therefore, that is not an issue.

Next let’s jump to the food and beverage industry.  The comb is to be added to the place setting.  But where and how in relation to the salad?  Vertical, horizontal, diagonal, outside the forks and which way should the tines face?  It becomes a question of etiquette but Emily isn’t around to determine the outcome.  Should the industry establish a task force to answer these questions and more?

Is there a U.S. Department of Etiquette?  There should be.  The President gets blamed for everything.  Rightfully so.  He should have foreseen this and created such a department perhaps rising to the Cabinet level.

But worse.  Where are the FDA and OSHA?  Combs touch food.  Combs are generally made of plastic and pose an occupational dining hazard and may violate local ordinances unless they’re biodegradable.  Think of the salad eating contests where pieces may break off and be ingested during the rush to be a winner.  Are they dishwasher safe?  Oh, the problems just go on and on.

Minnesota is a trendsetter.  We’ve done it again. We have eliminated the catastrophe of a dropped fork.  Another contribution to humanity!  Furthermore, perhaps there is a silver lining to this.  One of our corporations could invent Post-It Note dining gloves thus creating more jobs.

Bob Smith 3^rd

Gopher State Politics Institute

February 25, 2019